The following is taken from a memo from the advertising director of the Silver Screen Movie Production Company.
"According to a recent report from our marketing department, fewer people attended movies produced by Silver Screen during the past year than in any other year. And yet the percentage of generally favorable comments by movie reviewers about specific Silver Screen movies actually increased during this period. Clearly, the contents of these reviews are not reaching enough of our prospective viewers; so the problem lies not with the quality of our movies but with the public's lack of awareness that movies of good quality are available. Silver Screen should therefore spend more of its budget next year on reaching the public through advertising and less on producing new movies."
The advertising director of Silver Screen should lose his job. It is clear that his analysis of the decrease in attendance in the past year was incomplete. A better qualified individual might have explored the issue further by doing several different things. First of all, surveys of the general population could provide a clue to the decreased viewership. They may find that people aren't as willing to pay the high prices anymore. A survey may also reveal that people are aware of Silver Screen, but opt not to see the films. An inspection of the nature of the films made by Silver Screen could also hint to the root of the problem. If Silver Screen produces a lot of the same type of movie, then the problem may be that they don't produce enough to appeal to the diverse interests of the population. For instance, if their movies typically contain excessive violence and foul language, parents won't take their children to these films. That is a significant portion of the potential viewing population lost.
The ad director mentions that reviewers liked specific films and gave more favorable reviews than in the past. But he neglects to mention the specific numbers- critics may have raved about 2 movies and turned their thumbs down the 10 others. If thats' the case, it's no wonder that viewership has declined.
Spending more on advertising, and less on production, as the ad director suggests, could drive the company out of business. If the media builds alot of hype over a new release that was poorly produced, people are more likely to be disappointed, and skeptical about future productions. This is certainly not in the company's best interests. What is in the company's best interest is a broader scope of the problem, and different approaches to solving i
This strong response begins with an attack on the advertising director of Silver Screen but quickly shifts to identifying major flaws in the argument. The main points of the critique are that
-- the real reasons for a decline in viewership have not yet been identified;
-- Silver Screen may not produce different kinds of movies to appeal to diverse interests;
-- the number of favorably reviewed movies may actually have been very low; and
-- spending money to produce a possibly poor movie could hurt rather than help the company.
Although more points are made here than are made in the sample 6 response on this topic, each of the points made in the 6 paper is developed. That is not the case here. In this response, each point is supported (by perhaps an additional sentence), but it is not further developed. The paper is smoothly organized with few but appropriate transitions. The writing is strong with some variety in syntax. For these reasons, this response earns a score of 5.